Venting

I'm not a complainer. Really, I'm not. I'm a glass-is-half-full, Pollyanna-type who regularly finds herself in trouble due to the aforementioned naivete, but really, I wouldn't have it any other way. Which is why, dear readers, I find myself in a conundrum. I. Am. Uncomfortable. I'm waddling. My clothes, even the huge ones, don't fit. I can't sleep. And some of those cute little kicks are getting less cute. Pregnant friends and acquaintances have shared, in their final few weeks, that they are DONE being pregnant, ready for the next round. I, apparently expecting to be immune to these final month discomforts, was in la-la land, fully and totally enjoying all things pregnancy. Until about two days ago.

Now, I will preface with a very truthful statement - I have LOVED being pregnant. I am amazed at what the body can do to grow another human. I haven't been sick. I have felt fantastic. And I know that besides being exhausted, I'm very very lucky to not have had any of the regular maladies of pregnancy (swelling, barfing, heartburn, weird skin, the list goes on. It really is a miracle that the human race continues...), it's fun to have the people in my life - both the really close ones, and the peripheral (the gals at the market, for instance) - comment on the growth and changes, and provide support. I will miss that. I will miss having this close physical connection to Poppy. I will miss the support from my fabulous husband who regularly rubs my back, draws a bath, cleans the kitchen and a million other tiny (and not so tiny) items in his already extremely busy life that not only make my day easier but make me feel supremely loved. And, the selfish part of me will miss this phase that is all about me. Next phase is all about baby.

But about two days ago, I started having inklings that perhaps, just perhaps, I'm ready to be done. And it hit me that I'm super pregnant. Mother Nature does a damn fine job of helping women past the adoration of pregnancy into the 'get this child out of me now' stage. And here are her most convincing tactics:

Lack of Sleep:
This is a big one. As a friend once put it "It's not fair or sane to pre-hobble someone before the baby arrives". I concur. Several trips to the loo each night. General hugeness of belly that absolutely forbids finding a comfortable position. Constant side-lying that puts your hip joints to sleep (um, what?). And not being 'allowed' to sleep on your back - which contributes to minor panic when I wake up on my back after being there for goodness knows how long. This all adds up to a very very tiny amount of sleep each night.

Waddling:
From about month 5 - 7 1/2 I had the pregnant-gal sashay. It was awesome. It was the height of feeling pregnant-gal sexy. But now, the sashay is long gone. The regular walk is total history. I waddle. There is nothing normal or cute or sexy about it. Waddling is for ducks and weeble-wobbles and me.

Clothes:
What clothes? I am now relegated to the world of elastic-waisted pants. Ew! Until very recently I poo-pooed the gigantic stretchy clothes, thinking that they wouldn't EVER fit, as if the rules of pregnancy somehow did not apply to me. I refused to buy exorbitant amounts of maternity clothing (a: because they are SO ugly and b: they know they have you over a barrel and force you to pay stoopid prices for ill-crafted garments. I refuse), so now I find myself with one pair of jeans, one sweater, my trusty yoga pants, and thank God for the Bella Band but even those are starting to be uncomfortable. This clothes horse finds it seriously unfair. I was pleased (and between you and me, a bit smug about) fitting into pre-preg items until very recently. And with 2 1/2 weeks to go, I will not be spending one more dime on maternity gear. No way.

General Belly Bigness:
I can't put on shoes without a fight. I run into the counters in the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator door into my belly earlier today. Bizarre groans emerge when I try to haul myself off the sofa, chair, bed. I'm a yoga teacher - and I can't move!!! Did I ever have a waist-line? Pete claims he remembers my figure, but I have zero recollection.

Uncomfortableness:
Weird things hurt. Ligaments that I didn't know I had. A really cute little foot that loves to kick me in the ribs. Getting tickled from the inside. Remember that fall I took exactly one year ago where I flashed the UPS guy? Well, that back injury is back in full force due to shifting joints and bones.

I'll stop. And take a moment to reiterate that I really have enjoyed the entire ride. And the whole thing is a miracle - I feel guilty even mentioning any of the negative stuff in light of such a fabulous experience. But I'm starting to feel like a host. And perhaps, Mother Nature is even starting to prepare this Pollyanna for labor.

Uncomfortable Fruit

Poppy got his/her name from this weekly 'fruit comparison', but I'm starting to get a bit spooked... These were taken several weeks ago. Now, we're at watermelon. Dude.

What I'm Looking Forward To. A Lot.

Well, with just shy of 5 weeks left until the big day, there are all kinds of thoughts running through this head of mine. Last minute to-dos (final nursery set-up, protein-cramming, little things like finding a pediatrician...) make for a loooong list, thoughts about what labor and delivery might actually be like (a breeze, right?) and wonders about if there is/was anything else I can do/could have done to ensure baby is as happy and healthy as possible.

All in all, I have loved being pregnant, and while I have started to get a smidge uncomfortable, I know I'm going to miss it. But then, I think of the things I'm soooo going to enjoy again after Poppy arrives. The Top Ten List of Things I'm Looking Forward To:

- Sleeping on my stomach. Like, full-on take-over-the-bed, push-Pete-aside sprawling. (Yes yes, I know I'm "never going to sleep again". In fact, a sub-benefit to this item is that I don't need to hear people tell me that again... That and "your life will never be the same". Oh yeah? No kiddin. I didn't realize that.)
- Poached eggs. Oh how I've missed you.
- Massive quantities of sushi. The real stuff. The rawer the better
- Yoga. All of it. The flow, the inversions, the deep stretches and the twists. Oh, the twists.
- My clothes. Although living in a small sub-set of items makes me realize that I can happily reduce the number of items in my closet.
- Wine. More than the occasional "ration".
- Getting my figure back. Perhaps superficial, but ...
- Related - running. In fact, I already have my first race lined up. Bloomsday folks. Pete will push Poppy and we'll charge up DoomsDay hill together.
- Bending over. Well to be honest, moving in general. And getting rid of the back pain. That'll be nice.
- Meeting my little baby. I've been looking forward to meeting this cute compilation of Peter and Amy for over nine months. Heck, all of my adult life. I am SO excited to meet Poppy!

Baby Update!

Well, Poppy and I have made it to the point where we have doc's appointments once a week. Which, I kind of love. It helps when one adores one's doc, she's fantastic! Yesterday, we had a growth ultrasound - according to the ultrasound, baby is still extremely cute. No bias from this mom-to-be. As for the non-objective items the ultrasound was checking, here are the stats for the end of week 33:
- Baby is weighing in at 4.6
- Kind of small, but not worryingly so. Especially since I was apparently 6.3 when I arrived in the world. That sounds itty.
- Poppy has LOTS of hair. Cute little bean.
- Except for the slightly low weight, all other measurements (head, belly, fluids, etc.) are all spot on. Way to go Poppy!
- Extreme cuteness (couldn't resist)

Mama's stats:
- 30 pounds up. Whoa. Every visit I find myself saying "huh, never seen that number on the scale before". Side note: I have a great old photo of my parents, my dad's mom and me as a tiny baby at the beach in Hawaii... I must be 5 or so months old. And mom is rocking the bikini. I'm planning to post it on the fridge as motivation.
- Getting tired again... they said I would, and I did
- Finished reading Creating Your Birth Plan. Loved it, so much information. Have started Ina May's Guide to Child Birth. Not loving it so much. For a holistic midwifery approach, the whole book seems ironically combative towards anything that's not a home birth. I just don't see how hospital settings with a doctor (and a doula, by the way) are all necessarily "horror stories". Can't we all just get along?? I think I might shelve the book...

Nursery is almost complete - photos to come!

Poppy's Progress

Poppy, Pete and I hit the third trimester this past Saturday. "Poppy", by the way, is junior's nickname until arrival. And honestly, we use it so much, I wouldn't be surprised if it sticks after baby is born. The nickname came about because when we learned we were pregs, a website told us "your baby is currently the size of poppy seed". And the name stuck. There were some other options along the road (kumquat, for instance, is darn cute... but who really knows what a kumquat looks like), but Poppy he/she is. Although, currently "Poppy" is more like a savoy cabbage. Yo.

Still feeling good, baby is kicking up a storm, and we have another ultra sound on Monday. Last time, Poppy stuck his/her finger in his/her ear. This is a seriously talented child, people!

Here are baby bump profile photos thus far. Thanks everyone, for checking in - you're all amazing!

28 1/2 weeks. Yes, half weeks totally count.

I'm giving these pre-pregnancy jeans another week to 10 days. Then, who knows when I'll see them again.

23 weeks. That's an "I'm grumpy but I'll half smile for the photo" face.

19 weeks. I can't believe I thought I was big at that point...

Pete's sympathy photo

Halloween 2011

Front porch spookiness. Actually, I'm serious. I get spooked every time I go out to get the mail! Happy Halloween everyone! If you're in town, swing by! Last year we had 450 kids, so come early if you want candy...

Cave B Adventure

A much needed get away for all of us, the Kilmers and the Chases vamoosed to Cave B, a spectacular winery right on the Columbia river. Despite an expensive start (Yes, officer, I saw the No U-Turn sign, but I needed a place to turn around, you see?), it was a wonderful and relaxing adventure. We love you guys!

Morning yoga and coffee overlooking the river, and Rebecca feels Poppy kicking.

Serious boys at dinner.

Happy ladies with dessert!

Grape thieves!

The great Flip-Flop search of 2011.

Three Chases on bikes.

This IS my happy face. (Koa joins us on a hike...)

Pumpkin Patch!

Three quarters of the Sullivan/Matteucci team came to visit, and part of the adventure was a trip to Green Bluff and the Pumpkin Patch! We rode the train, we braved the corn maze, we picked the BEST pumpkins.

Sophie's perfect pumpkin

Amy's first (ever) trip to a pumpkin patch and the resulting enthusiasm. Isn't that something one usually crosses off the list at age 4? Just a few years late... 'Pineapple Patch' doesn't quiet have the same ring to it...

The girls are really getting into it.

Pete's being extremely helpful and cheering them on. 'Put your back into it!

Alright, that's more like it, Peter.

Pete is concerned about the giant mouse trap in the corn maze...

Berret's Party!

We're sad to see you go, but you're going to LOVE Seattle!

Epic Mulching

Koa should get a paying job with the Manito Park Grounds crew

Spring Break in Bend

We hitched a Yakima rooftop carrier to the car and hopped in the family wagon to head south for Spring Break. Pete, Luz, Luz's darling friend Savannah, Koa and I hit the road and enjoyed a full week in Bend. Lots of visiting with friends, enjoying a town that will always feel like home and celebrating two birthdays!

Luz's 16th birthday, the Bend Version

Mom and pup.

Pete and I visited the engagement site at the High Desert Museum. No sparkly bauble this time, but awfully fun to relive that day.

Lunch at Common Table - an incredibly cool new restaurant and concept in Bend that provides meals to homeless, runs on volunteer and donation support and brings the community together. You can find homeless folks dining along side folks who can pay for their meals - really fantastic and inspirational organization. Here we are sporting our new Common Table tee shirts. Check 'em out: http://www.commontable.net/tag/non-profit/

Great food and even better mission.

Makena unwrapping Kitty Crayons

Pete makes a new friend. Hazel is impressed by his artistic skills, especially the elephant with a lollipop.

Dad's 82nd birthday! Pete and Aka are intrigued by this present...

A super cool cutting board from the Salt Lake contingent!

Savannah and Luz snuggled up on the deck.

The birthday boy with his mini-cupcake. Happy birthday Dad!!

Mom and proof of mini-cupcakes. Delicious.

Mexico 2011

Well, I finally managed to get some photos from our dreamy trip to Mexico posted. Between you and me, I think the delay was that I am still in denial that our beautiful, relaxing, colorful, and all-in-all fabulous vacation is over. An enthusiastic and heart-felt thank you to Rebecca and David, who are the most generous hosts I can imagine and went to great lengths to ensure complete relaxation. I'd also like to thank Samantha, aka Rusty Gimbal, for allowing us to show us how a pup enjoys boat life, and last but not least, Liberte - the prettiest and most adventurous boat in any harbor.

Our hike to the Secret Beach

Up these stairs and down the other side leads you to a secluded and simply gorgeous secret beach. I got thoroughly doused by a big-ole wave on my way up the stairs. Never turn your back on the ocean, right? Right.

View from the top of the stairs of our own private beach.

On the hike back to the Grand Bay, we wandered past this golf course. Lovely and relaxing. Except for the vultures looming in the palm trees.

If I had to pick one favorite thing about Mexico, and it's a darn tight race, it's the color. Yellows, reds, blues one can only imagine when you're back at home and in the doldrums that are the end of winter.

Pete the fisherman, on street of the fisherman. heh.

Has anyone ever seen Pete so relaxed? Samantha is helping by providing a warm snuggly place for his feet.

Our view from the stern of Liberte each night we were at the Grand Bay marina

The French Baker!! He came around every morning with insane breads, treats, pastries... So delicious!! He gave Rebecca and me roses on Valentine's Day. I love him.

The view from the top of the Grand Bay. Across the way is Barra, accessible by water taxi.

Valentine's Day in Barra

Meandering the beaches of Barra

Happy Pete. Beer and a mango on a stick.

Happy Amy

Sunset in Barra on Valentine's Day

The ittiest margaritas we found.

Tree lights!

Valentine's dinner, at the restaurant in the tree. They gave us roses, too. And, our boys gave us massages and facials at the Grand Bay. Valentine's Day in Mexico rocks.

My hair goes wild in Mexico. I decided that the crazier it got, the more relaxed I was.

Veggies! More proof of gorgeous color in Mexico.

Liquados. Shakes in a ziploc that you drink with a straw. Genius!

Local dancing talent.

Another sunset in Barra.

The trusty kayaks that got us from Liberte to, well, anywhere, when we were on the hook.

Samantha is an excellent kayaker. (So is Rebecca!)

A pup's life.

The boys drinking rum.

The view of Las Hatas from Liberte. The purple bougainvillea was spectacular. That night, we saw the luminescence for the first time - jumped off the boat and swam around in it. Amazing, I've never seen anything like it. It was our last night. I threatened to chuck our passports overboard.

The last moments before getting into the cab to go to the airport. That was silly of us, wasn't it - shouldn't have left! What a fantastic adventure.